


You must find something to live for

by phelipa



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Oral Sex, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 05:56:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4655070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phelipa/pseuds/phelipa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's another kid case. She can see it in the tense lines next to her mouth as she tells them they’ve got a case, the way her voice snaps slightly and the forced steadiness to her hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You must find something to live for

**Author's Note:**

> Written around the end of season 5, very mild implied spoilers for the episode 100.

It’s another kid case.

She can see it in the tense lines next to her mouth as she tells them they’ve got a case, the way her voice snaps slightly and the forced steadiness to her hands. She watches her fingers fall to her phone repeatedly, itching to call for Henry and hear his sweet voice as a blessed assurance. The days drag on and she watches from the sidelines as her voice cracks during the media report; a quick cough, and then she’s composed again, giving details about where the fourth little boy was last seen and what he was wearing.

She doesn’t go down to the ME’s office for any of the other cases, there’s no reason for her to be there, really, but she does for the kids. Her nimble fingers swipe sweat-crusted, blood-matted hair carefully from his closed eyes and she touches his dirty little hand gently; a soft expression of love on behalf of the mother who’ll never be allowed to see him like this.

She’s quiet on the flight home, curled up in her seat with her head propped against the window. She doesn’t sleep when some of the others do; she stares absently out the window and rubs her thumb over the strand of multi-coloured beads that Henry strung together last summer. She doesn’t dare keep a picture of him with her, not after what happened with Hotch, but Emily knows that she risks the beads because she can’t stand having nothing. Not on days like today.

Reid starts mindlessly offering statistics about the likelihood of finding children alive after the first twenty four hours post abduction, an attempt to soothe all of their rattled nerves, and JJ tenses, blinking rapidly and pursing her lips.

“Jesus, Spence.” Emily sighs, “Not tonight.”

He quiets and she watches JJ’s shoulders sag, relieved. She gets up to use the tiny washroom in the back of the plane and takes longer than usual. Her eyes are a little bit puffy and red when she returns and there’s one of those little in-flight bottles of wine in her shaky hands. She closes her eyes after finishing the small bottle, but she doesn’t sleep.

They stop in Illinois to refuel and it’s decided that they’ll stay at a hotel overnight to give the pilot some sleep. She checks her watch and then pulls out her phone, slipping a couple steps away as she dials Will’s number. Emily gets their room key and hangs back while the others offer their ‘good nights’ and step into the elevator. She listens as JJ asks for Henry and then nods, shoulders drooping sadly as she says,

“Of course; it’s late. No, don’t wake him up. Give him a kiss for me.”

She hangs up and offers a half-hearted smile before asking, “You’ve got the key?”

“Third floor; the others are already up there.”

She slides her hand into JJ’s and gives it a firm squeeze as they wait for the elevator. She tenses initially, remembers that the others have already gone ahead of them, and then relaxes, fingers curling around Emily’s. Emily strokes her thumb over the back of JJ’s hand and she relaxes minutely as Emily asks,

“How’s Henry?”

“Fine – Will said he put him down early because they had a big day at the park. He was grumpy after dinner so he gave him his bath early and he was falling asleep before they even had a chance to read a book together.”

“You’re picking him up tomorrow, after we get back?”

She shakes her head, “It’s still Will’s weekend. I’ll pick him up Monday morning. If we’re back early I’ll probably stop by on the way home, just to say hi.”  
Emily unlocks the door and flicks the light switch on her way by, dropping her small bag on the desk. JJ smiles when she sees the two double beds, a low chuckle passing her lips as she asks,

“Were the boys still within earshot when you asked for a room?”

Emily grins, “It could be a set of twins, like that time in Montana.”

Emily slips out of her suit jacket, carefully unbuttoning her soft blue blouse and laying it over the back of the chair. The soft white fabric of her bra droops, falling from her shoulders as she reaches behind herself for the clasp. She tugs a simple grey t shirt over her head, pulling her hair back in a utilitarian ponytail before flicking the button at her pants and stepping out of them.

“D’you want a shower?” JJ asks, already down to a matching set of blue, lace undergarments.

She shrugs, licking her lips before asking, “Do you?

JJ nods and steps into the bathroom to turn the water on before calling, “I wouldn’t say no to some company.”

Emily laughs and tugs her t-shirt back over her head as she heads for the bathroom. Her throat catches a little bit as she catches JJ bending over, easing the thin lace fabric down her long legs and stepping out of it gracefully. Steam pours from behind the shower curtain as JJ asks,

“Can you get the clasp?”

Emily unclasps her bra and then traces her fingers over the pink indents in JJ’s shoulders, rubbing softly as JJ hums her approval. She pushes her own black panties down over her hips, catching them before they hit the ground and tossing them up with JJ’s on the counter,

“Lord only knows what’s living on the floor in here.”

JJ wrinkles her nose and laughs, “And the counter’s that much better?”

Emily grins, “Fuck it.”

The water is hot, almost searing, as they step beneath it but it’s a welcome contrast to the cool, winter temperatures they’ve been weathering for the last few days. JJ eases beneath the spray first, water dipping and swirling over the curves over her body, soaking her hair and coursing over her cheeks. Emily slips behind her, arms circling her trim waist and fingers skating up to cup her small, pert breasts. JJ sighs softly, head tipping back against Emily’s collarbone as her deft fingers circle JJ’s stiff nipples.

She reaches for the tiny package of hotel grade soap and lathers it in her hands, skimming them over JJ’s stomach and then back up to her breasts, her fingers softly kneading the sensitive flesh until JJ moans quietly. Her hands find JJ’s hips and she rests them there, fingers tracing the silvery-white stretch marks that Henry left behind. JJ rocks back against her, the smooth curve of her ass catching Emily’s hips, and her grip tightens on JJ’s hips as she presses into her.

“Do my hair.” JJ hums, fumbling for the array of tiny bottles on the shelf.

She squeezes a generous dollop into Emily’s outstretched hand and then tips her head back, stepping just outside the steamy spray. Emily’s long fingers work through her hair, catching in the little tangles and gingerly easing her way through them. She massages her scalp, working small circles from her temples, and JJ visibly relaxes as Emily’s fingers circle past her delicate ears.

She turns back into the spray, letting it rinse the shampoo from her hair as she presses into Emily’s body, moving in to kiss her as the tart, bitter taste of shampoo courses over their lips. Her tongue slips through Emily’s open lips and she strokes upwards, meeting Emily’s eager kiss with a heated fervor. Her hands cup Emily’s cheeks, feeling the shift of her jaw as she nips at JJ’s bottom lip. Her lips curve into a thin smile and she shakes her head back beneath the water, ridding it of the last remnants of the shampoo.

“Turn around.” She murmurs, rubbing the bar of soap between her hands before pulling Emily back against her.

JJ slips her thigh between Emily’s and she gasps, tipping forwards so that she can rock her slick core against JJ’s firm thigh, bracing herself against the wall. JJ’s hands slip easily over the smooth plane of her back, circling around her sides and skimming her dark nipples in a deliciously erotic tease. Her hands creep down Emily’s quivering stomach and one disappears for a moment, thrust beneath the water to rinse the soap from her fingers before it returns to Emily’s hip. She tiptoes her way down the fleshy slope of her hip, through the coarse curls and Emily jerks against JJ’s hip as her fingers find the swollen bud of her clit.

“JJ.” She groans warningly.

Despite being the one to ask for company, she knows that JJ has a thing about shower sex. She says it’s too slippery and she doesn’t trust either of them not to fall in the shower, and then there’s something about having to focus on staying upright and how it steals some of the focus from her orgasm. She knows that whatever JJ’s started, she doesn’t plan on finishing in the shower.

Reluctantly, she shifts off of JJ’s thigh, catches her wrist from between her legs and says, “Bed.”

JJ nods, grinning almost ashamedly as she says, “Sorry, I just -”

“I know, I know” Emily says impatiently, “Shower sex is on par with Satanism. Get out.”

She swats her on the ass as she steps out of the shower and JJ jumps, letting out a sharp, surprised noise as she turns to glare at her. She kisses her quick on the lips and then gives her a little push towards the door, water trailing behind them as they head for the nearest double bed. Emily catches her by the wrist and turns JJ so her the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed and she tips back onto it. Emily sinks down on top of her, knees spread on either side of her waist, and draws her back into a kiss. JJ wants to be mad for the little swat on the ass but her resolve melts away as Emily’s hands find their way back to her breasts, kneading carefully as her tongue slips past JJ’s lips.

Emily rocks her hips, streaking wet heat across the lower plane of JJ’s pale stomach and JJ cants her hips up against Emily, making her groan as delicious pressure hits her clit, just for a moment. Her hips jerk when JJ slides a hand between them, the pads of her fingers easily finding her sensitive bud and drawing quick circles around it. She gasps into JJ’s mouth, breaking their kiss as her nimble fingers dip lower, two of them slipping into her core.

“Jesus.” She pants, swiveling her hips into JJ’s palm in an effort to hit her clit against the heel of her hand.

JJ tips her right hip and Emily tumbles onto her back, shifting her hips until there’s enough room for JJ to fit between Emily’s knees. Her fingers curl deeper and Emily spasms as she finds her G spot, hips lifting from the seeking more pressure.

“Harder.” She groans, a hand coming to rest on JJ’s hips with a tight squeeze as JJ’s fingers press in deeper, faster.

She uses her other hand, circles her thumb around Emily’s swollen clit, and Emily cries out sharply. JJ’s lips find the soft, sensitive skin just below her navel, her teeth leaving soft marks that will disappear in seconds. Her fingers scissor within Emily and her hips buck at the loss of contact with her g spot.

“No, please…” She whines, groaning deeply as JJ slips a third finger in and curls hard against that delicious spot.

Her stomach quivers in anticipation and she fights against the desire to tighten her legs around JJ and control the mounting pleasure, forcing them wider as JJ circles her clit relentlessly. Her legs tremble and her toes curl, neck extending back into the pillows as she staves off the impending orgasm. Sweat beads between her breasts and JJ traces the salty trail with her tongue, swirling it over Emily’s peaked nipple before giving a hard, longing suck.

A cry bursts from her throat as she comes, hips jerking anxiously against JJ’s hands as she spasms around her still moving fingers. Her breath comes back in short, staccato beats as JJ strokes her through it, her pace easing as aftershocks tremble through Emily’s core. Her heart hammers in her chest and she lets out a low groan as JJ eases her fingers out,

“Fuck, JJ.”

She wipes her fingers on the inside of Emily’s thigh and shifts her hips up over Emily’s stomach, wet hair tumbling around their faces as she bends down to kiss her. It’s short lived, broken by Emily’s panting as she struggles to catch her breath,

“Gimme a sec. God, I was going to do you first. Sorry.”

JJ laughs lightly, rolling off of her, “Yeah? Why’s that?”

“The case.” She murmurs, between ragged breaths, “The kids. It fucks with your head.”

She gives this sad little smile, rolling onto her side, and tucks a sweaty strand of hair behind Emily’s ear as she says,

“I’ll be alright. I’ve been doing this for a long time, it just screws with me a little more when it’s a kid around Henry’s age.”

“Fair.” Emily breathes, pushing herself up into a sitting position, “Spread your legs.”

JJ flushes prettily, a soft pink spilling down onto her chest as she admonishes, “So crude.”

Emily smiles wryly, “You want me to go down on your or not?”

The pink deepens, her cheeks rosy and the flush spreading all the way down to her breasts, but she nods and rolls onto her back, letting her legs fall open. Emily takes her time, starting at her neck and sucking on the supple skin, feeling the eager beat of JJ’s pulse against her tongue. She traces her collarbone with her fingers, mapping the perfect curve, and skips down to her breasts. She holds there for a moment, slipping her knee between JJ’s thighs and pressing upwards until she meets resistance. JJ squirms helplessly and slowly takes up a rhythm, hips tipping to press her clit into Emily’s knee as Emily’s tongue circles one of her nipples.

She uses her fingers to tweak one as her teeth graze the other, making JJ shiver. She feels goosebumps erupt over JJ’s skin as she lets out a shuddering breath. Her breathing quickens under Emily’s touch as she switches sides, the cool air making her nipple stiffen. She swivels her hips, lazy figure eights against Emily’s steady leg and Emily groans,

“God, you’re wet.”

She shifts down her stomach, tongue dipping into the shallow of JJ’s belly button. She presses her lips to the soft marks at the base of JJ’s stomach because she knows she’s hyperaware of them, self-conscious but fiercely defensive of the marks that pregnancy has still left her with. Her thumbs rub the prominent curve of JJ’s hips as she stretches down, slipping her knee from between JJ’s legs and lowering herself as JJ widens her legs.

She’s trembling a little bit as Emily mouths the soft skin at the apex of her thighs, easing her labia open with two fingers before pressing her tongue to JJ’s clit. She jerks at the first touch and her hands fist in the sheets as Emily’s lips close around her labia, sucking gently before tracing a long line from her opening to her clit with her tongue. Her stomach rises and falls with her rapid breathing and Emily circles her arms beneath JJ’s twitching hips, holding her steady as she presses her tongue inside, stroking along her ridged inner walls as JJ cries out. She shifts her head slightly, rolling the tip of her nose haphazardly over JJ’s clit as she dips her tongue in and out, feeling the rapid tightening and release of JJ’s inner muscles.

“My clit.” She urges, and Emily takes note because JJ rarely gives direction.

She shifts herself a little bit higher, easing her right arm out from under JJ’s thigh and swiftly sinking two fingers into her. JJ groans loudly, muscles convulsing around Emily’s fingers as she stretches to accommodate the intrusion.

“Emily -” She groans insistently.

Emily laughs, “Getting there.”

“Get there faster.” JJ whines, bending her left knee so that she can cant her hips up against Emily’s fingers as they start to curl into her.

She makes her wait, curls her fingers up into JJ’s ridged inner walls and strokes her until she’s whimpering softly and nearly pleading to be touched before she brings her tongue to JJ’s clit. She strokes over it in broad, rough strokes and JJ’s body shudders with relief, her hips wild against Emily’s mouth. She purses her lips around JJ’s clit, sucking carefully, and JJ’s body trembles, her lips parting with a low groan. She flicks the tip of her tongue over JJ’s clit in a rapid, erratic sequence, pairing it with long, broad strokes of her fingers and JJ’s body seizes, her muscles coiling beneath Emily’s touch as she comes, hips snapping up to keep Emily in place as her muscles spasm. She lets out a soft cry as her trembling continues, tipping into a second orgasm as Emily keeps her fingers curling and her tongue stroking steadily against her aching clit.

Her shaky hands push at Emily’s hairline as she comes down from her second orgasm, groaning, “Stop - too much.”

She acquiesces, easing her fingers out slowly and wincing at JJ’s sharp noise as her inner walls clench hard at the loss of sensation. She cups her carefully, holding steady pressure against her clit and opening with three fingers, letting her ride out the last few aftershocks as they thunder through her. She slips an arm around JJ’s waist, pressing an apologetic kiss to her open lips,

“Sorry.”

JJ’s chest is heaving as she tries to steady her breathing but she shakes her head, gasping, “No. It was good. Just – a lot. Not good – incredible.”

Emily laughs, resting her head against JJ’s bare chest and keeping her hand pressed against JJ’s core in an effort to ease the overwhelming sensations. After a few moments her breathing begins to return to normal and her muscles stop quivering; she presses a kiss to the crown of Emily’s head and murmurs,

“Thank you.”

Emily tips her head up so she can kiss her lips, laughing as she says, “Anytime.”

JJ grins, pushing her fingers through Emily’s tangled, damp hair and pressing a last quick kiss to her lip before she says,

“Sorry, I have to pee.”

Emily nods, disentangling herself from JJ’s limbs, and she watches her as she grabs her travel bag on the way to the bathroom. She gets up and tugs her t shirt back over her head, raking her fingers through her hair until the tangles are out. Turning back the covers to the second bed, she slips beneath the duvet and pulls it up over herself, suddenly chilly. She checks the pillows and swaps them out, knowing that JJ likes the flattest pillow she can find. The bathroom door clicks open and the light next to their bed flicks on as JJ switches the overhead lights off.

“Your pyjamas make me feel inadequate.” Emily grumbles, tossing back the covers for JJ to slip in.

JJ laughs and shakes her head, pressing a kiss to the tip of Emily’s nose, “Don’t be stupid.”

“You packed a fucking negligee for a work trip.” She insists, fingering the soft cream silk as JJ inches back against her, pressing her hips into Emily’s pelvis.

“Stop complaining.” JJ chides, “You’re as bad as Henry.”

“I’m slightly concerned for Henry’s wellbeing if you walk around in front of him wearing this.”

JJ swats at her, laughing as she says, “Stop it, you know what I mean. Besides, you don’t like it?”

She has no argument there; JJ looks incredible and, while she looks just as good in an old, oversized t shirt, she’d never tell her to get rid of the things. She just shakes her head and presses her lips to JJ’s bare shoulder,

“Point taken.”

She slips her foot between JJ’s calves as she reaches for the light switch and drapes her arm over JJ’s waist, pulling herself in a little bit tighter. JJ shifts a little bit, pressing her head against Emily’s pillow before shifting back to her own, laughing as she sleepily asks,

“Did you give me the flat pillow?”

“I’ve got your back.” Emily murmurs, grinning.

“You’re a loser.” JJ chuckles.

Still, she tips her head back to kiss Emily once more before she says a quiet, “Thanks, Em.”

Her grips tightens on JJ’s waist as she yawns and says, “You got it.”

*


End file.
